meditations on grief

how do you form those words
what do they feel like when they fall of out of your mouth
heavy whispers pushed past the lump in your throat

what is it like to watch a person crumple
eyes growing large,
reality shattering, replaced with a forever-wound

it doesn't matter who you lose
or how you lose them
but at the very heart of any kind of grief, massive or slight,
there is always

always

the same pang
the same punch in the gut
the same breathlessness

untitled

healing shows up in the strangest of places
chopping garlic in a warm kitchen
scrubbing a tub til it glows
smoothing out the wrinkles from a soft bedsheet

all these little movements
made over and over again
such weary, graceful hands

snippets

"rough drafts"--new title for the blog. (hopefully) new approach to writing for it. i've been neglecting writing for writing's sake (and a lot of other things) for a long time, for reasons that felt justified, but weren't. not really. i need to get in the habit of doing it and having it all in one place, not so much because i feel a need for an audience...but because i want it to be somewhere, and i have never been good at keeping journals in real life...i just buy pretty ones and never write in them.
so from here on out there will mostly be snippets. ideas. a few words strung together. practicing writing.
some of it will be stupid and not really worth reading. but some of it might be beautiful.
like learning a song on the piano...and being patient as the fingers slip onto that wrong key again and again. and anyway, it is the act of writing that matters.

so here's to chasing inspiration around in circles and not waiting for it to hit you over the head
to making a mark & not caring if it's "right", but enjoying the fact that you made it


-b.